Monday, 20 May 2013

Dr. No-No from hell!

Some incidents become quite a story to be told and retold and enrich your cache of experience.

This weekend Coco was running a fever and coughing too. We took him to a hospital but the paediatrician was on leave, so the GP saw him and gave paracetamol, which I was already giving him, and an antacid. The doctor said it is a mild throat infection and will be fine in a couple of days.

But my husband suspected that the doctor might not have given him antacid meant for babies. After all, only a child specialist can know how to treat a baby. So we took him to a child specialist's clinic. I was surprised to see pregnant women in the waiting room.

Anyways, when our turn came and I proudly (why not? He looks like a little prince!) brought Coco to the doctor and the smartly dressed doctor started almost scolding me instantly: My God! Something is seriously wrong with this baby. Oh, look at his head, its so large, look at his skin, its not fairness, its pallor.He is sick, very very sick. Oh no, he is wincing with pain, no, no don't shake him, it will pain more. What has happened to him?

Me(taken aback and looking at Coco's head and skin): He has fever since  yesterday. I gave him PCM and...

Doc(Shaking her head vigorously): Uh-oh... tch.. is he vomiting?
Me: No, he sometimes brings out milk...
Doc: No, no, he vomits, he does! Doesn't he? tell me how many times he did that today?
Me: 2-3 times but.... (he is already unwell and coughing is troubling him, on top of that his iron drops are making him nauseous and he brings out milk! sigh!!)
Doc: 2-3 times? Means vomiting! See, I told you he is vomiting, but you have not seen all of it. There is a lot more to this. I will not be surprised if you go home and he poops smelly-smelly stools. We will wait for it. It will happen for sure..
Me: ..... ( I have lost you, you look like a psychic, only your glass sphere is not here!)
Doc: I know for sure you feed him a lot of milk from bottles...
Me: Never, in fact he never has formula milk or cow's milk. And he eats too, with a spoon!
Doc: Oh, something is definitely wrong with his nutrition. Tell me what you give him to eat?
Me: Bananas, dal, sooji kheer....
Doc: No, no, you should give him home cooked calorie dense food!
Me(completely defeated): Ok, you tell me what all should I give him!
Doc: Bananas, dal, sooji kheer...
Me: ...............! ( Madam, please take a break, don't praise my child, but don't break my heart. He has not even once had any sickness since birth. What kind of parents do you think we are? We get him checked up regularly. His regular doctor is annoyed with us for asking so many questions about his care and nutrition. I will tell you what is seriously wrong here! You are wearing too much lipstick and it clashes with your white (not grey!) hair. You have not seen anyone with a fair complexion visiting your clinic. My baby is an Indian blond for all I know! If I had a coin for every compliment he gets, I will soon be a millionaire. You are a paediatrician and not a gynaecologist, so you cannot take in pregnant women as your patients and treat unborn children! So please, do not try to dazzle me with your looks and your english. You can go back to conning poor labourers in this godforsaken town. We will wait for you to be arrested!)

Rest of the conversation was a blur... Coming out of her clinic I was completely hyperventilated and numb with shock. While Hubby went to buy medicines, I was clutching Coco and cursing the world for being so cruel. Before he came back, I had made my decision, I had to see another doctor, now!

Within an hour, we were heading home, laughing and happy. The other doctor had examined Coco with patience that only a child specialist can have and had prescribed a cough syrup (which had PCM!).

Oh yes, Dr. No-no also told me how to make poached eggs. Made them, ate them. They were yummy. Thank you dear madam, for it was the only take away from this ordeal.

Monday, 13 May 2013

Horn Ok Please!

Moving on....

highway road travel
I have always liked travelling by road better than other modes of transport. The opportunities to enjoy journey by road always keep coming and I jump in the passenger seat happily, while hubby dear takes charge behind the steering wheel. It is a pleasure to watch life go by in close vicinity while I enjoy my type of music(a privilege of the person in passenger seat mostly) and snacks. Another reason to like road travel which I figured out recently is getting long hours alone with my perennially busy-busy-busy husband where I can talk all I want... with almost zero disturbance.
truck road highway

So here we are, hitting the road again, and I am happily looking around and commenting on anything and everything that tickles my fancy. Roads tend to be boring, but there is a lot of amusement if one looks closely. If someone is a stickler to correct written Hindi like me, they can easily spot the humour in unlikely places.
highway road truck travel transport
This time, the topic of my scrutiny were truck phrases. Some of them were sentimental kind like the above one, some polite, some morally correct, some grammatically incorrect, some of them trying to prove that they were the ultimate hunk on the road while some others were simply hilarious.

highway road truck travel transport
This one is patriotic as well as optimistic with a hint of religion.

truck phrases travel road highway transport
Simply greeting strangers is what anyone could do to spread some cheer.

travel highway road truck phrases
The above first claimed to be a 'jalwa king'and then mysteriously changed its beliefs to 'kahani kismat ki'.

truck phrases highway transport

 I have seen a lot of vehicles with 'Maa ka ashirvad' with ashirvad almost always spelled wrong. This one gets a commendation for correct Hindi. Though the phrase also appears on cars in a different avatar 'daddy gift', wrong grammar implying why dad had to gift the car!

highway road truck phrases transport
I have seen and missed more hilarious ones, sometimes while I was busy with Coco, and later because the camera battery died (poor thing had no choice!). So, among all available pics, the grand prize for naivety, humour and cheekiness goes to this one. (Remember: charge batteries of all kinds always before leaving home)

Oh, did I mention my favourite rickshaw phrase? It is always:
Jinne apni Maa nu sataya,
Unne sari umar riksha hi chalaya.
(One who teases his mother, has to peddle a rickshaw all his life)

I often use it to blackmail people into doing my will. :)