Monday, 20 May 2013

Dr. No-No from hell!

Some incidents become quite a story to be told and retold and enrich your cache of experience.

This weekend Coco was running a fever and coughing too. We took him to a hospital but the paediatrician was on leave, so the GP saw him and gave paracetamol, which I was already giving him, and an antacid. The doctor said it is a mild throat infection and will be fine in a couple of days.

But my husband suspected that the doctor might not have given him antacid meant for babies. After all, only a child specialist can know how to treat a baby. So we took him to a child specialist's clinic. I was surprised to see pregnant women in the waiting room.

Anyways, when our turn came and I proudly (why not? He looks like a little prince!) brought Coco to the doctor and the smartly dressed doctor started almost scolding me instantly: My God! Something is seriously wrong with this baby. Oh, look at his head, its so large, look at his skin, its not fairness, its pallor.He is sick, very very sick. Oh no, he is wincing with pain, no, no don't shake him, it will pain more. What has happened to him?

Me(taken aback and looking at Coco's head and skin): He has fever since  yesterday. I gave him PCM and...

Doc(Shaking her head vigorously): Uh-oh... tch.. is he vomiting?
Me: No, he sometimes brings out milk...
Doc: No, no, he vomits, he does! Doesn't he? tell me how many times he did that today?
Me: 2-3 times but.... (he is already unwell and coughing is troubling him, on top of that his iron drops are making him nauseous and he brings out milk! sigh!!)
Doc: 2-3 times? Means vomiting! See, I told you he is vomiting, but you have not seen all of it. There is a lot more to this. I will not be surprised if you go home and he poops smelly-smelly stools. We will wait for it. It will happen for sure..
Me: ..... ( I have lost you, you look like a psychic, only your glass sphere is not here!)
Doc: I know for sure you feed him a lot of milk from bottles...
Me: Never, in fact he never has formula milk or cow's milk. And he eats too, with a spoon!
Doc: Oh, something is definitely wrong with his nutrition. Tell me what you give him to eat?
Me: Bananas, dal, sooji kheer....
Doc: No, no, you should give him home cooked calorie dense food!
Me(completely defeated): Ok, you tell me what all should I give him!
Doc: Bananas, dal, sooji kheer...
Me: ...............! ( Madam, please take a break, don't praise my child, but don't break my heart. He has not even once had any sickness since birth. What kind of parents do you think we are? We get him checked up regularly. His regular doctor is annoyed with us for asking so many questions about his care and nutrition. I will tell you what is seriously wrong here! You are wearing too much lipstick and it clashes with your white (not grey!) hair. You have not seen anyone with a fair complexion visiting your clinic. My baby is an Indian blond for all I know! If I had a coin for every compliment he gets, I will soon be a millionaire. You are a paediatrician and not a gynaecologist, so you cannot take in pregnant women as your patients and treat unborn children! So please, do not try to dazzle me with your looks and your english. You can go back to conning poor labourers in this godforsaken town. We will wait for you to be arrested!)

Rest of the conversation was a blur... Coming out of her clinic I was completely hyperventilated and numb with shock. While Hubby went to buy medicines, I was clutching Coco and cursing the world for being so cruel. Before he came back, I had made my decision, I had to see another doctor, now!

Within an hour, we were heading home, laughing and happy. The other doctor had examined Coco with patience that only a child specialist can have and had prescribed a cough syrup (which had PCM!).

Oh yes, Dr. No-no also told me how to make poached eggs. Made them, ate them. They were yummy. Thank you dear madam, for it was the only take away from this ordeal.